World’s biggest procrastinator
What is wrong with me?
I had two weeks to flesh out a two page draft proposal for my thesis. My supervisor asked for about five pages. Shouldn’t be too hard.
That was three weeks ago. Last week when we were supposed to meet I emailed saying I didn’t have anything to show him. I didn’t try to give him any excuses because I didn’t really have any. So he emailed me yesterday asking me when I can show him my work. I didn’t reply. Why? I haven’t touched it. I had one more week but couldn’t bring myself to actually start.
And I spent all day today (my day off) surfing the web, checking work email (MY DAY OFF!!), going back and forth to the the kitchen. Its been a year now since I was a full time student. I took second half of the year off for personal reasons. The thesis is the only thing left to do but it never got off the ground. All the meetings I’ve had with my supervisor have been not much more than brain storming sessions. So he quite rightly said I needed to get a move on.
I’m so bad at starting something. And its not just with the thesis. There’s been work jobs where I’ve taken heaps longer than projected because I started late. I know I just have to “get back in the groove” (to use my dad’s record and needle analogy, which I get sick of hearing) and things will just happen. But its I have a fear of starting…
Even now, by writing this post I am procrastinating. Then I’m popping down the street for dinner because we don’t feel like cooking. I am a responsible person generally, but I feel I’m disrespecting my supervisor by being so tardy. This may also go with my continuing trend of not finishing studies.
started accounting at uni long ago: dropped out after one and a half years
started two year IT tafe course: dropped out after one and a half years
started different two year IT tafe course: finished
started uni IS course: finished
started honours: to be continued, but sometimes I feel like giving up…
I’m just feeling sorry for myself.
End of rant.
Uni Decision Time
I started doing my Honours year at uni last year. I deferred 2nd semester and enrolled again this year. I did all my electives and compulsory subjects already and have the thesis left. I started a work related topic last year but it didn’t work out, so its just as well I deferred otherwise I would have had nothing to write about. I changed the subject to digital storytelling (still work related) early this year but before I got too far I changed it slightly and the project is getting bigger.
Neither myself nor my supervisor were completely happy with the topic until the recent change. However, this topic is way too big and there is no way I can finish it this year. My options are to change to part time, which gives me until end of semester 1, 2008, or to convert to masters and do another couple of units on top of the thesis. A reason for converting is because the project is so big, but it does mean more uni fees and having to do assignments and exams (I swore I would never do that again after sem 1 last year)…But if anything a masters looks prettier on my resume.
On the other hand I just want to get it over and done with because I’ve been studying for ages now. I like the project but I have lost some of the motivation and excitement I had last year. I do have one other option, and that is to forget the whole thing (and wasting the time and effort I put into the units I had already completed) and start looking for real IT work for next year.
Hmm…I just want to get on my bike and ride and ride and ride
